


Futile

by Justapersonable



Category: Original Work
Genre: I use the relationship tag lightly for them, M/M, Mild Gore, Obsession, Plus that I got lazy about 2/3 of the way through writing, Violence, You can tell I’m getting lazy, because it’s pretty unrequited for the most part, do all that, i don’t know, i don’t know how to tag, i guess, though Cas would probably like Nicholas if he didn’t, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23421523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justapersonable/pseuds/Justapersonable
Summary: When Castiel’s in hell, it wasn’t the first time he learned that no matter what you do, it’s all for not. Though, I suppose it doesn’t really matter if you don’t remember it well.I’m not great at summarizing, so here’s an ambiguous thing to make you a curious, I guess. I don’t know, just check it out if you want.
Relationships: Nicholas/Castiel
Kudos: 1
Collections: On Earth We’re Free





	Futile

I wake up and find that I can’t see, or… or move. Why… why can’t I move?! I struggle and panic, trying to find a way to maybe wriggle my way out of my bonds, but… they won’t budge. My wrists and ankles are starting to hurt now, but… maybe, maybe if I just try hard enough at it I can break free. Please, please, oh please, just break free.

In my panic I don’t realize someone’s entered the room until I hear their voice. “Ah, you’re awake. Finally, you were asleep for awhile there. I was beginning to get worried you were dead, but I knew you’d wake up today. I just had a special feeling that you would.” They chuckle a bit at the end, and it… it sounds familiar. I can’t place where I’ve heard it before, but, I have, I know. “Well then, now that you’re awake, I’m sure you have some questions. Such as where you are or why you’re here, and so on and so on. But I’m afraid those will have to wait, my dear. Just a little while, at least.”

I hear footsteps as this person walks closer. They stop right before me, before they do what I guess would be sitting down. And then they… they touch my face. I try to move away, but the moment I try my face is grabbed. “Come on, Cas. No need to be so shy. It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. Well, as long as you cooperate, that is.”

Wait- how… how does… “How do you know my name…?” I ask, and my voice… it sounds really rough. How… how long was I out for? Snapping me out of my thoughts was a pair of hands pulling at cheeks and a bit of hair.

“I thought I told you, questions would have to wait.” The voice tells me, anger clear. But then the hands loosen some. “Though I suppose I could answer one question for you. After all, you already asked. So, here’s my answer. I know a lot about you Cas. So, so much. I’m sure if others knew the amount I knew about you they’d call it creepy, though, you wouldn’t see it that way, right Cas? You’d accept me, wouldn’t you? Of course you would, you’re a nice person. A pure person. The purest in the world, if I have any say about it.” Suddenly, my head is being hugged by this person. I try to move away, but their grip just got tighter.

Pure? What are they… What are they talking about? Purest? It… I can’t make sense of it. How would… How would you see me as pure? I’m normal, just like any other person, so… definitely not the purest, or anything like that.

“Mmm. I love even being in your presence, Cas. You’re such a beacon of light and purity, once you die, you’ll definitely be an angel. An angel that will save us all, won’t you? But don’t get too excited yet, it’s not yet time, not yet.” They start stroking my hair, as if it’s meant to calm me down. I… I hate it. It… it reminds me of her…

W̸̲̲͕͊͂̽̚͝h̸̺̮̩̰̍o̵̟͚̘̗͂͛̕’̶̙̦̭̇͗̊̍̀s̶͚͈̒̈́̉̚ ̴̠̭͋̓͂h̶̙͓̙̎̋e̸͔̜̹͙͐̄͜r̶̤̜͎͂͂?̵̢̪̗̈͆̽̕͜

“Okay, I think that’s enough self-indulgence. If I stay so close to you for too long, I may end up tainting your purity, and we wouldn’t want that, would we? No, we wouldn’t.” They release my head from their hold and stand up, walking a fair distance away before sitting down again. “There we go. Now, ask away. I’m perfectly willing to answer any questions you may ask.”

Not wanting them to change their mind, I quickly ask some questions that have been on my mind since the very beginning.

“Where am I…? What am I doing here...?” My hoarse voice asks. Panic is clear in it, though I am trying to stay at least somewhat calm. Panicking too much won’t help, right?

“Hm, for your first question, I’m afraid I can’t answer that. It’s a secret, you know?” They giggle. “As for your second question, I brought you here, of course!”

I should’ve known they wouldn’t answer the first question. Well, time for another. “What do you want with me…?”

“Oh! Well, as I’ve already said, you’re pure. One of the purest, I’d say! So, to have the honor to have you all to myself before you die, and move on to be the purest being like I know you will, would be… so, so good…” The last bit is said in a tone, I don’t quite know how to place. It’s… strange, and… almost lustful but not quite… I don’t know.

“Well then, that’s it for questions, I’d say, yes? I have plans I need to get to, but I promise, Cas, I’ll be back before you know it.” They say before I can get another question out, quickly standing up and walking out of the room. The door clicks as if it’s been locked once it closes… at least I think that’s what it is, I can’t really tell that well.

I tried breaking out of my bonds again, but I ended up hurting my wrists and ankles again, before I made any headway. Soon I passed out from exerting myself too much, I guess. This routine continues day after day, the person who locked me in here visiting twic every day, it seemed. They were quite upset once they realized what was happening. They quickly put bandages on it before roughly gripping my hair and scolding me for trying to escape.

I would like to note that I was never given food during this time. They would come in with water every time they visited, after the first one, and let me drink, but they never let me eat. I asked about it once, but they quickly grabbed my hair as if to signal never to ask that question again, so I didn’t. 

As you can guess, eventually, I died. But not by starvation, surprisingly. No, they killed me, knowing I would die soon.

I was lying down, doing nothing, as I usually do, when they entered. They were silent this time, as they walked towards me. It was… unsettling. I didn’t really know how to deal with it. Suddenly, I could feel them taking off the blind fold, and what I saw once it was off, was…

“Ņ̷̨̢̧̡̧̧̧̢̧̨̡̡̧̛̳̦̻̺͙̠̗͔͉̦̻̟̼̱̪͈̣̭̥̝͚̳̬̣̦̤̲̣̜̲̜̦̱̝̫̟̱͉̝͕̭̪̠̪̱̤̰͓̯̮͖̱͔̺̳̠̺͉͓͈̹̫̯̞̱̱͇͔͚̪͎̮̝̰͇̯̞͕̝̭͔͈̯̯̗̄́̔͒̿̓̓̂̀́̐͐̀̈́̽̋͐̍́̾͐́̽͆̓̂̌̀̆͛̅̑̄̒̆͂̔̄̓̂̈́͗̑́̊̒͋̂̌̋̓̊͒̏̔̇̄̏͋͆͗̌̿̂͂̀̔͛̀̒̇̾̌̈́͐̏̐̊̑̉͊̐̽̅̄̑̾̎̃̒̔̌̚͘̕̚͘͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅī̸̧̡̨̢̧̧̧̡̧̧̩͔̗̭̻̘̣͖̗̲̪͓̗̳͓̦̘̰̮͍̝̗̼͎͚̻̜̰̖̙̘̬̰̰̝͓͎͍̝̺͇͚̪͕̗̩͖͓̫̖̠̻͉̙͇͖͎̺̰̖͎̘̝̬̯̦̤̯͕̼̮̯͚̥̣̫̰̞̣̙͍̘͕̱͕̻̯̂͋̍̏̍̋͆͊̅̈́̀̈́̊̈͆͐͊̀͗͒͂̈͋́̌̋͒̈́̂͆͑̇͛͛̇̈́͊̽̀̄̅͗͛̔̇̀͑̀̀̈́̉͆̒͒̄̈́͘̚̕̚̚̕̚̚͘͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͠ͅͅc̵̡̨̡̡̨̨̨̢̫̣̲̙̳̺̯̰̗̳͚̘̲͓̤̝͔̲͙̱̯̞̦̤̬̥̲̠̯̗̠͎͈̖͇͚̰͎̩̹͕̱͍̥̹͍̰̪͍̖̬̺̞̤͓̹̼̪͓̟͈͚̘̟͉̮̼̞̰͙̫̟͖͇͈̬̘̹̮̘̄͋̾͒̈́͋̐̌͑͋̀̄͋̑͌̾̅̆̈́̈̄̒̓̾̂̓̂̿̓̀̐̀̏̓̌̀̅̾͛̌͆̂͊͊̈́̊̈́̐͒̌̽̎̇̋̚͘͜͜͜͜͜͝͝ͅh̶̡̧̧̡̨̡̧̨̡̢̡̛̛̦̹͍̱̥̺̹̜̳̟̟͓̙̟̪͉̻̩̬̬͉̖͓̺̼̖̯̘̜̯͇̦̦̳̣̳͔̣̖̩̰̣̣̖̻̻̗͎̘͎̝͙̗͍̣̺̻̮̦̗̮͖̙̳̦͇̞̜̞̜̝̝͓̲̲̠̗̫̠̦̜͖̗͓̓̌̍̊̿̏̔̀͂̔̋̋̌̔̀͛̊̆̂̈̏̔̑̌͌̄͘̚͜͜͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅȏ̶̟̥͓̩̟̹͌͐͊̃̋̋̏̕͜ͅļ̴̧̢̢̢̨̡̧̧̡̛̛̪͓̩͕͖̜̮̠̖̤͈͎͙̜͕̝̞͕̺̻̟̗̲̞̤͓͚̥̲̰̤̙̗̰̺̣͍̜͙̹̱̳̞̫̣̝͔̣̳̳̫̮̺̘̲̦͓̰̞̟̥̩̘͔̰̩͖͍̼̩̼̖̤͓̫̺̻̥̱̪̦̹̯̪̠̤̱̪̗̜̟̱̩͖̠̱̤͍̥͎̑̈̓́͛̑̂͑͛̈̑͊̿̐͛̒͌̔̓͊̓̓̽̋̒̂̈́́̊͐̉͆͗̾̀̉̈́͑̇́̈́͒̌̿̏̉̒̇̄̍̐̆̎̚̕͜͝͝͝͝͝ͅā̴̢̢̡̢̨̛͚͍̘͓̤̺̜̜͖̦͓̺̰̬͉̣̹̥̹̜̥̫̻̣͓̲͔̱͙̲̗̘̊̏̆͐͂̉́̈́͌͑̆͐̓́̀͂̐̅͊̈́͆̊͒̊̇̑͊̓́͛̇̍́̂̄̉͒̂́̃̈́̾̀̈́̅̏̅̌̆́̃̄̈́̀̚̚͘̚͘͘͝s̷̡̲̲̹͍̝̼̭͕̤͍͓̳̘̠̹̼͚̝̝͕͓̰̩̭̤̯̤͕̬̦̱̀̈́͋͌̔͊̿́͆̒̂̓̆͗̈́͘̚͜?̴̢̨̛̛͔͉̦͉͉̝͔̫̟̜͑͂͑̀̅̾͑̃̅͌̆̉̃̓̌̏̇̆͗̆̎́̔̌́̌̂̂̑̽́̀͂͌̌̐̔͗̔̄̔̍͗̒͂̉̉̓̏̿́͊̓̈̈́́̎̎̒͊͛͌͌̎̄̓̈́̿̚͘͘͘͝͠͠͝͠͠͝͠͠”

He smiled, a wide, unnatural smile.

Ȧ̷͙̮̜͕̮̥̬̬͍̬̼̤͔̺̮͒͒̍͂̎̓̐̽͌̌̆̚͝ ̴̦͔̭̤̝̲̩̮̤̘̔̇̾̉̿̈́̽̈̿̎̍͌̏͝b̷̨̖̟̫͇̙͉̼̱͎̗̓̆̏ỏ̶̡̟̓͆͛͒̓͐̉͆͆y̸̝̰̰̳͉̖̅̈́͐̇̈́̈́̈̃̑ ̶̝̬͚͆͆̿̂͘w̸̨̨̺̣̭͚͉͇̹̘̹̹̼̙̄̓̏̉͠i̷̧͖̲̺͖̣̞̞̮͇͔̩̱͊̀̒͆͊̉͛͑̂̋̆͐ṫ̵̨̝̜̙͍̞̝̫̪͈͔͇̜̈́͐̂̄̉̏͆̀͠h̶̬͍̩͎̬̻̬͈̗̔́̓̓̅̿̄́́̾̓̍̕͜͠͝ ̵̘̣͙̰̹͗̈́̈́͂̊́̄͂̏̍̀͑̚͜͝͝ş̶̧̢͔̪̏̒̉̓͌̑́̿̄͘ͅh̴̠͙̫̙̔̂o̴̭̹͉̯͑̂̈́̅̐͛̂̀́̅̿̚̕͝͝ṛ̸̛̟͎͔͙̟̥̖͔͉͎̬̂́̐͋̄̐̊͋̽͘͝ͅt̴̢̢̛͕͚̺̼͖̠̥͈͒͋͐̊̈ͅ ̷̼͔̻̤̺̈͐h̴̨̧̹̳̦̮̯̯̹͉͚̱͗͌̓̓́̀͊̀͌̕͘͜ͅả̴̹̝̼̘̤̋͛̎̍̾̈́̔̌͝ḯ̵͚̆͠ȑ̶̫̮̞̠̏́̇͗͊̈ ̴̡̡̝͈̜̬͍͉̳̬̬̈́̃́͆ś̴̟̥̮̙̼̣̬̅̏m̵̜͇̮̮͍̩̦͎̤̝͍͓̲̅̓̄͆̈́̊̂̆͌̋̎̇̚͘̕î̷̲̉̏̓̉̀̐͐͐̉̀͝l̷̨̡̙̻̔͆̈́͂̂͂̎̽̇̓͘̚i̸̖̤̝̩̞̇̈̊͜ṋ̶̢͎̲̹͖̞̠͍͙̙͇̯̂̓̅͗̏̎̽͠͠͝͝ͅg̴̡̖͔̩͉̱̓̍̍̉̃̀̕ ̶̢̙͍͕̯̘͉̹̀̔ậ̷̡̡͉͎͖̟͌t̷͕̳̲̏ ̴͕̥̩̦́̿̀̈̔͒͛̇̂́͜m̴̮͚̥͌̈́͊̎͛̊e̴̡̡̳̗̟̪̤̟̼͚͍̓͐̀͛̍̏͑͘ͅ ̷͈̩̤̯͔̞̮̠̦̘͖̺̠͈̎̄̈́̊̈́̊̔͑̆̕͝ĉ̵̨̘͍̙̯̟̣͔͕̯̩̐́̚͜ḩ̷̡̡̣̳̙͉̤̦̦͉̜̲̭̐̉͊͆̈́̈́ę̴̛͈͓̙̞̪͓̙̲̱͓̆̔̒̌̊̕ȇ̷̛̬̼͔̼̰̅̽̂̈́̐̈́̔͘͝r̷̰̰̿̾͂͛̓͑͆͒̀͘͠f̶̨̜͇̟͎͕͒̓̆͗̐͋̑͐̾̈̇̂͝ứ̵̼̬̳͙̯̱͖̉̍̉̏̎ͅl̶̯̦̲̯͓͔̦̘̐̀̇̿͂͗̔͜͝l̶͉̥̬̦̞̼̝̗̟̠̘̮̹̮̉́̈́̀̌̎͗y̵̛̪͆ ̶̡̳̙͙͙̹͉͙͖̗͋͛̿̊̔͋̓͂͠ͅą̸̨̤͙̦̳̮̗̻͋͒̎̾̊̒̃͊̉͝s̷̞̆̇̈́̚ ̴̢͓̭͓̬̼͖̊̍̈̽͊̑͝͝ẅ̸̛̳͇̥̲͇̹̑̀̑̈́́̑́̆̂̊̅͑͘ȩ̸̧̛̰̙̪̰̬͖͈͉͈̣̫̼͋̑̈́̓̌ͅ ̸̢̧̥͚͉̬̻̝̝̂̿̇a̸̧̛̳̦̻̟͙̬̼͓̗͎͑͗̆̇̎̾̔́́̍̿͠͠ṯ̴̨̧̗̤̰̱͈̪̩̜͚̓e̴̟̐͒̆̿̃̑̋͊̈́,̴̨̗̲̻̬̱̤͓̝̽̂͊͘̕͜ ̵̛͙͚͇͙̠̠͗͊́͆̽̿́̏̀̐̊̓̚̕ẵ̴̛͎̋̈́̇͌̈́́̅̓̀̕ň̶̜̯̥͉͚̖͇̦̭́̈́͊̕ͅḑ̶̢̱͕͓͉̩̣͉̯͔͖̈́̈́̇̏̐̀͌̌̓̔̈́̚͝͝͝ ̴̡̠̱̗̭̦̝̼̳̌̃͗̀̀̑̊̂̓͠l̷̨̲̳͓͙̟̺̱͔̲͊́̐̈́̅̽͆̓́͊͌̀̕̕͜a̶̧̡͈̤͓̫̰̪͔̜̋͐̓̈̾̀̚͠u̵̩̝̳̔̓̑͂̔̉̀͋́̀̾̚͝g̷̢̢̧̗̻̘̞̟̟̲̉̇̓̔̈́ͅh̴̢̧̧̯̰̪̜̖̣̉̏̾̃̏͂̂͌̕̚̕ĕ̷̛͕̏d̴̨͍̜͇̱̝̦̮̯̦͚͓̺͑͂̽͋̍̈͊͝.̴̡̛͖̹̯͚̱̬̪̼̹̬̠͇̄̌̃͝

“Ah, you remember me? I’m so happy, you know? The fact you remember little ol’ me. Average, little N̸̡̡̨̡͕̼̦̞͕̳̞͔̠͙̮͓̖̫̼̣̑̇̉͐͆̐̀̎̇̓̋̊̆̽̊̎̇̃̽͒̇͛̿̓͐͐̐̓͛̐̊̕̕̕͜͜͝͠i̷̧̛̛̖͚͈̖̥̳̺̺̹̰̖̻͓̠̹̘͇̻͉̺̞̦̦̞̙̪̰͎͙̤̰͎͚̓́̄̀́͑̉͂̆̇́̽͗̊͌͗̈́̾͗̏̒̈͗̃͑̈́͋͆͆̌̉̌̍̿̕͜͝͝ͅc̴̡̠̠̹̮̼̿̈́̈́̆́͒̽̀̓̽͒̊̈́͑̾̀̃͛͑̊̀͛̋̊͂̄̓͆̄̍̂̚͘̚̕̕͝h̴̨̢̢͖͔͕̘͈̭̜͓̺̙͙͙̯͖͍̼̱̝̎͋͋͊͊̍̊̆̈́͋̈́͑́̑̓̈́̈̒͆͆̈́̔̾̈̂͆͛̊̐͘͘͜͠ͅǒ̷̱̣̦͉̤̤́͗́̎̃̽̒̿̿̐̈́̂͝l̷̨̛̩͇̲̘̦̫͉̜͇̹̠͈͍̬͎̜̄͊̃͐̄͛̐̎͛͐̀̓̒̎͌̽͊̔̃̊̐͗͊̿̊̀̌͋̓̾̚͘͝͝ͅͅa̸̧̢̯̼͔̩̮̜͇͍͈̖̯͎͎͎̬͈̥͚̳̳̺͈̱̻̫̟̱͍̿̒͊̕͜s̴̢̗͕̻̹̝̲̯̱̞̬̭̣͎̲͈̺͈̾̿͑̀̈́́͗͋̌̆͊͗̑̚̕͝͠.. but I’m afraid we can’t do this for long. You’re dying, and I realized, I didn’t really want you to die from starvation. Rather, it would be nicer if you died from my hands. Don’t worry! I’ll be killing myself after you die, so you won’t be dying alone, Castiel! Now, are you ready?” He caresses my face, tears coming to my eyes.

“No, no, please… N̸̡̡̨̡͕̼̦̞͕̳̞͔̠͙̮͓̖̫̼̣̑̇̉͐͆̐̀̎̇̓̋̊̆̽̊̎̇̃̽͒̇͛̿̓͐͐̐̓͛̐̊̕̕̕͜͜͝͠i̷̧̛̛̖͚͈̖̥̳̺̺̹̰̖̻͓̠̹̘͇̻͉̺̞̦̦̞̙̪̰͎͙̤̰͎͚̓́̄̀́͑̉͂̆̇́̽͗̊͌͗̈́̾͗̏̒̈͗̃͑̈́͋͆͆̌̉̌̍̿̕͜͝͝ͅc̴̡̠̠̹̮̼̿̈́̈́̆́͒̽̀̓̽͒̊̈́͑̾̀̃͛͑̊̀͛̋̊͂̄̓͆̄̍̂̚͘̚̕̕͝h̴̨̢̢͖͔͕̘͈̭̜͓̺̙͙͙̯͖͍̼̱̝̎͋͋͊͊̍̊̆̈́͋̈́͑́̑̓̈́̈̒͆͆̈́̔̾̈̂͆͛̊̐͘͘͜͠ͅǒ̷̱̣̦͉̤̤́͗́̎̃̽̒̿̿̐̈́̂͝l̷̨̛̩͇̲̘̦̫͉̜͇̹̠͈͍̬͎̜̄͊̃͐̄͛̐̎͛͐̀̓̒̎͌̽͊̔̃̊̐͗͊̿̊̀̌͋̓̾̚͘͝͝ͅͅa̸̧̢̯̼͔̩̮̜͇͍͈̖̯͎͎͎̬͈̥͚̳̳̺͈̱̻̫̟̱͍̿̒͊̕͜s̴̢̗͕̻̹̝̲̯̱̞̬̭̣͎̲͈̺͈̾̿͑̀̈́́͗͋̌̆͊͗̑̚̕͝͠, please, don’t kill me, please… I don’t… I don’t want to die, please… Please…” He raises a knife above him before s̶͍̤̥͑͜t̶͓͛͌̔ą̸͖͂b̵͎̩̲̙̭͗̀b̶̧̧̖͖͎͒͋̕i̶̥͐̉̒͋͘n̴͉̝͛͗͝͝g̵̡̜̱̏̑ ̶̯́̔̋ạ̶̧̢̟̓͜͝n̶̾͂̀̕ͅd̷̙̀͆̑͠͝ ̴͕͗̂͊͜s̷̡̮͖͔͙̋̐͌̍͝t̵̩̙̝͒̏á̷̮̖͚͉b̴͈̳͉͚̣̈̉̐͝b̸̢̜̖͖̲́͗i̵͉̭̤̬̋̽̓͝n̵̦͖̩̠̉͂͐̚ͅģ̶͒̓͌̔̈́ ̶̘͚͑̀͗ȧ̷̺̼͐̅n̶̡̼̞͈̅̆͊̀̂ď̶̬̘͍̯͙̒̈́ ̴̨̲̊ͅs̴̺̞̠̳͈̏̎t̸̨̙̰̳͐̾̇ą̸̫̍̉̆͘b̸̺̥̭͈̈̾͑͒ͅb̴̨͕͎̟̗̍̆͘͠͠i̷͎͇̜̎̾́n̵̻̹͌́͒͜g̸̼͝ ̸͔̂a̴̱͔͠n̶̳̬̮̪͎̔̓͠ḑ̶͙̑̈̆͑͠ 

s̸̛̜̝̤̈́̋̈́t̵̘̭̏͗a̴̳͗̀b̴̹̗̩̈̍ḅ̴̨̺͚̔͑̈́͆̂ͅỉ̶̛͇̯̞̪̣̀̀ň̴̢̛̠̹̼͆̀̚ͅg̵̨̾̐

a̸̳͌͐͋n̸̝̜̻̮̮̊̍̏͂͝d̷͙͑̈́̅ ̷̙̳̹̫̞̃͑s̸̛̜̝̤̈́̋̈́t̵̘̭̏͗a̴̳͗̀b̴̹̗̩̈̍ḅ̴̨̺͚̔͑̈́͆̂ͅỉ̶̛͇̯̞̪̣̀̀ň̴̢̛̠̹̼͆̀̚ͅg̵̨̾̐

a̸̳͌͐͋

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Personable here. I wrote this, few months ago, at least. Uh, I’m not great at talking to people, as you can probably tell, so sorry these aren’t particularly great notes. But uh, I’m always looking to improve, so if there were any mistakes or if you have any ideas you think could improve my writing, let me know! I’d be happy to hear them! And if you can’t think of anything, that’s okay too. Just popping in and saying hi is cool too, and is still very much appreciated. Anyway, I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day, and that you enjoyed! Bye!


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